@alispagnola: What happens when you retweet a compliment about how humble you are?
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@TheBoydP: Wife: Put the dishes away I have other things to do. Me: ok *Me loading dishwasher with wife watching entire time to ensure I do it right*
@abhorrent_wife: There's a fine line between confidence and delusion and I ride that shit like a bear on a unicycle.
@Cali_Kid_Mike: Narcissist? Let's just calm down with the big words and keep this conversation about me.
@SSDated: Grad school is my excuse for everything. No text back? Grad school. Havent called in weeks? Grad school. I ate your last donut? Grad school!