@P1ssed_K1d: What I really need is a woman who loves me for my money but doesn't understand math.
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@Holy_Mowgli: restaurant owner: you start on monday me: I can't wait restaurant owner: I don't think this will work out then
@orange_rhymer: Doc: have you been displaying any symptoms of vampirism? Me: I've been.. Doc: ... Me: ... Doc: ... Me: ... Doc: ... Me: Coffin. Doc: get out
@AndrewChamings: Dinosaurs prolly have ghosts too, what if there's a diplodocus just standing where your house is right now, bored as shit
@SlabBaconBP: My son asked me what humble means. I told him it means pretending you're not better than everybody else.