@P1ssed_K1d: What I really need is a woman who loves me for my money but doesn't understand math.
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@UncleDuke1969: Date: So… Tinder, huh? Me: Yup. Date: … Me: This is kind of awkward. Date: Maybe we should’ve used real pictures. Me: You think so, MOM?
@AndyAsAdjective: [morning] her: did you dream about me? me: that depends…are you a member of the Backstreet Boys? her: umm no me: then no
@jonnysun: DETROIT: im doing a secret show at 8pm tonigt at a small club dowmtown! mesage me for details!!! ME: omg a talkimg city