@Lmao: What I said: I forgot my book. What the teacher heard: I hate school, I hate you & I don't want to make something out of my life.
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@TheTweetOfGod: "Give me your tired, your poor, your huddled masses yearning to breathe free. Unless they're darker than, say, beige."- Statue of Liberty.
@AntozWolf: They say being a hostage is difficult - but I could do that with my hands tied behind my back.
@daemonic3: [bank] Robber: EVERYONE GET DOWN! Me: [crying] my wife left & my kids think I'm a joke Robber: No I mean- Robber2: Wait! Let him finish
@noog: If I had Pokemon, I’d pretend to understand them. They’d go “Bulba bulbaaasaur” and I’d be like “What do u mean Hitler did nothing wrong?”