@TheIronSherk: What idiot called her a Hot Indian Girl and not a Bomb Bae
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@AndyAsAdjective: I bet every time Vanilla sets his razor down on the bathroom sink, he looks up in the mirror, rubs his newly smooth face & says "Shaved Ice"
@fatguythe: Hid my daughters ipod in my other daughters room cause they've been getting along lately and there's nothing on tv tonight.
@Kyle_Lippert: Fun fact: the person who said "If you love something let it go" died alone, surrounded by 342 cats.
@ScobeyWanKenobi: Just once I'd like to yell, "Don't you know who I am?!" because I'm important, not because I'm drunk and actually forgot.