@fabulouscop: what idiot called it a best man instead of a lord of the rings
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@sad_tree: [Bank Robbery] Put all the money in the bag and no one- *sees guy wearing a Maroon 5 shirt* MOST people won't get hurt!!
@theshantilly: Me: I want cozy pajama pants for Christmas. Him: I was gonna get lingerie. Me: Trust me. VS won't have your size. Him: Me: *jazz hands*
@GBRougecity: I don't believe in reincarnation but damn my dog looks like he's trying to crank over a motorcycle while he's sleeping.
@blaudiablogan: It is truly easier to forgive your enemies than figure out how to limit their access to your facebook page.