@MikeCanRant: what idiot called it a fly swatter and not a splatula?
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@SilleVio: I don't like to brag about my cat-like reflexes. That said, could someone please call for help? I got startled and am stuck in a tree.
@AbbyHasIssues: Despite evidence to the contrary, I still maintain typing louder and harder will magically make my incorrect password correct.
@jackiembouvier: I wish I had remembered this was a rectal thermometer before I'd put it in my mouth for 3 minutes.
@smirkykev: In my experience, the quickest way to escape Jury Duty? As they read out the charges, yell out, "Oh c'mon...even I've done THAT!"