@daemonic3: What idiot called it a paternity test and not a pop quiz?
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@HannahSymmonds: Him: It's so damn sexy when women bite their lip Me: Like this? Him: The bottom lip.
@AnOrangeSNES: [Crossword] 7 across) Person you work with, 9 letters COWORKER 21 down) Person you hate, 9 letters COWORKER
@shkeeber: Me: *passes ransom note* Mom: 2 bags of unmarked cookies? Me: Or you'll never see the cat alive! Mom: He's behind you. Me: STUPID KITTY!