@daemonic3: What idiot called it a paternity test and not a pop quiz?
YOU MIGHT ALSO LIKE
@fuzzlime: Tweriod: That time of the month when all my tweets are moody, retain water and are about chocolate and cheesecake
@KyleMcDowell86: *sees a babe about to walk through a puddle* "No no, allow me" *gets on hands and knees and drinks the entire puddle so the babe stays dry*
@novicefather: I was gonna put on my cowboy hat and sit on my patio shirtless to showcase my abs when I realized I don't own a cowboy hat, a patio, or abs.