@punmagnate: What idiot called it a rattlesnake's warning rattle and not a cautionary tail?
YOU MIGHT ALSO LIKE
@ColoChiver: My boss told me to dress for the job I want, not the job I have. Now I'm sitting in a disciplinary meeting in a Batman costume.
@BruceForce: My gangsta career was brought to an abrupt and tragic end when my homies caught me sipping on a frappucino doing my taxes
@jessforaminute: *Calls the DMV* Hi yes I've lost ten pounds please send a new license with my updated weight thanks