@mofrorock: What idiot called it Canada and not the US of Eh?
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@lifecoachfit: I'm not gonna let something like a restraining order get in the way of a love as special and unique as ours. Shhhhh. Stop crying.
@Faux_Ma: At my job interview today the Boss said, "You're shaking, don't be so nervous." So I told him, "Oh, I'm not nervous, I'm an alcoholic."
@XplodingUnicorn: Went to a parade. For an hour, bored people on floats waved. For an hour, My 2-year-old waved back. It was the greatest day of her life.