@plank_sinatra: What idiot called it "Fox News" and not "white whine"?
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@AsgardianRose: Forget sex positions, has anyone found a reading position that doesn't get uncomfortable after about 5 minutes?
@SarcasticAlly12: A waffle is just a more considerate pancake. It's like, here, let me hold that syrup for you in these convenient boxes.
@captainkalvis: Me: *loudly* why is everyone here a goth Wife: quiet down you're interrupting the funeral Me: *whispering* why is everyone here a goth
@TheMichaelRock: I bet all this shit started because someone told Trump he couldn't be president and Trump said "hold my beer, watch this"