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@daemonic3: What idiot called it jousting and not poker knight?
@D2BMcG: "Hello, my name's Drew and I'm an addict"
"Sir, this is a cheese counter"
@Audenary: DUMBLEDORE: Who's brought evil into Hogwarts?
HARRY: I think it's Malfoy, professor!
DARK MYSTERIOUS NEW TEACHER: Oh come on
@XplodingUnicorn: What I was supposed to teach my kid before kindergarten:
What I actually taught her:
1) the dance to Thriller
@truegritrumble: *trying to awkwardly start a conversation with my barber* I ALSO like scissors.
@QuietPsycho: Advice from a 6 year old patient:
"You should wear your stethoscope everywhere...girls will really like you. You look smart"