@BromanConsul: What idiot called it the Police/Fire Department Headquarters and not GUNS 'N HOSES?
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@drinksmcgee: Coworker 1: I’m sick. Everyone stay away from me. Me: Yeah, everyone stay away from me as well. Coworker 2: Oh, are you sick too? Me: No.
@OneFunnyMummy: Chips are not only delicious, but if you crunch them loud enough you can't hear your children anymore.
@shkeeber: Do you hate yourself? Do you wish someone would trip you down stairs? Do you enjoy lacerations & and surprise vomit piles? *hands you a cat*