@BromanConsul: What idiot called it the Police/Fire Department Headquarters and not GUNS 'N HOSES?
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@david8hughes: "So what kind of comedy will you be doing for us?" "The usual, self defecating." "Ha, I think you mean deprecating." "Think all you like."
@ashleyaustrew: "I don't know the government, and I'm not giving them any of my coins." - my 4yo after I explained taxes
@squirrel74wkgn: [helping son with math] Me: Problem one...(reading)...ok...(reads #2)...(reads #3)...(keeps reading)...ask your teacher for help tomorrow
@Dutch_50: I always say no to drugs. But, if they ever start deep frying them, I'm in big trouble.