@ABurgerADay: What idiot called it the road to Bethlehem instead of the highway to the manger zone?
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@Mr_Kapowski: My wife and I have an agreement with our 7 year old daughter Don't wake us up early on the weekend and we won't abandon you in a mall
@timdonakowski: Nothing is worse than having jock itch. ESPECIALLY within 100 ft of a school or playground.
@EndhooS: [1st date, don't let her know you're a panda] "Do u mind if I ask how you got the um *gestures at eyes* These? I..*rubs neck* cage fighting
@purplefuzzygirl: I don't get why he counts the beer before he leaves to work... There's never any left when he comes home. Idiot.