@DanMentos: what idiot called it tinted windows instead of a drug car tell
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@gogglepossum: [me sneaking to the bathroom at night to check twitter] Wife: what are you doing? Me [looking around for excuse] just...changing my tampon
@just1fool: Coworker:I'll take care if it. *Translation* You're gonna take care of it. You just don't know it yet.