@punmagnate: What idiot called them astronomers and not skyentists
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@dshack8: At this point in my life if I drop something and can't pick it up with my foot or via one of my kids, it's staying on the floor.
@GrantTanaka: I set a rat trap last night & this morning the cheese was gone & there was a picture of my kids in it, what does this mean
@KevinFarzad: Being a newspaper boy combines two of my favorite things: legally throwing things at people's houses & keeping my fellow citizens informed
@KenTremendous: "Owen, you must hide this baby, at all costs, from Anakin Skywalker." "Okay. Should we continue to call him Luke Skywalker?" "Seems fine."