@daemonic3: What idiot called them atheists instead of non-parishables?
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@Brampersandon_: TRUMP: if elected i'll build a protective wall. I'll call it the great wall *advisor whispers in his ear* i'll call it the really great wall
@emptyheadtwo: I met a young fashion designer earlier, and it wasn't long before I was in the bedroom ripping her clothes off. I love counterfeiting stuff
@Thee1_4U: The snow in the front yard is melting and so far I've found 3 unopened beers. *Adds party planner to résumé*
@CornOnTheGoblin: me: [performing autopsy] so I've been practicing my ventriloquism assistant: now's not the time corpse: aw come on