@StevieKnip: What idiot called them dog tags instead of collar ID
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@MrGeorgeWallace: Why do football players only dance when good shit happens? Just once I wanna see a QB throw an interception & do a sad, interpretive dance.
@MatCro: [French restaurant] DANIEL: Promise me, not again MIYAGI: Promise. [raises hand] Garcon? [waiter comes] D: Don- M: [waves hand] Garcoff
@ericsshadow: My wife reads two books a week and I just told my son that an idiom is a group of idiots.
@LukeMones: This google docs thing is lame. Whatever happened to those viruses that turned your screen into a laughing skull & shut down the power grid?