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@smoney12: What idiot called them ‘Ex-fiancées’ and not 'Near-Mrs’ ?
@cynicuhl: My IQ? With google or without?
@Unlucky_Ninja: Now we're going to say some shit to scare old people.
-the local news
@coldlippdheresy: Told my boss the salary I want when I move to California.
Him: so you want the moon and all the stars too?
Me: and Saturn.
@ndiquote: My heart say "Yes"
But my mom says "No"
@XLToast: No son, you can't go out with your friends. Tonight we're installing Windows Updates, as a family.