@smoney12: What idiot called them ‘Ex-fiancées’ and not 'Near-Mrs’ ?
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@HollyHeals: Dressing up as the grim reaper while at work in the ER is not amusing says HR. So uptight.
@JermHimselfish: I like how commercials for gum seem to be predicting a cold, dystopian future where our survival depends on the freshness of our breath.
@gruffybeard: 630: *wakes up to take dog for walk 632: *pours coffee and checks twitter 749: *steps in dog shit on my kitchen floor