@smoney12: What idiot called them ‘Ex-fiancées’ and not 'Near-Mrs’ ?
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@TheCatWhisprer: We save women and children first because the dads have to make sure all the lights are off and the thermostat is set appropriately.
@sixfootcandy: People need to learn the difference between heroin and heroine. One is exceedingly more difficult to fit into a syringe.
@NickLMao1: How about the No Bucket Challenge? Basically you just give a charity some money and don't tell anyone about it.
@XplodingUnicorn: I was working in the yard. Out of the corner of my eye I saw a snake. I hit it with a shovel. I'm happy to report the garden hose is dead