@the_paramedicK: What idiot named her Miley Cyrus' grandma and not Nana Montana.
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@funnybeachgirl: I remember 9 months before I was born, I went to a party with dad and left with mom.
@OreoSpeedwagon_: Adopt 25 cats and you'll never be alone. Also melt cheese on things. Not the cats though. -me as a therapist
@thepunningman: Airport Security: Please remove your shoes Man: Don't be ridiculous, I'm no terrorist AS: Sir, do you want to use the bouncy castle or not?