@the_paramedicK: What idiot named her Miley Cyrus' grandma and not Nana Montana.
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@Birdhumms: I kept getting my shin badly grazed by the pedal of my bike when I was was a kid, that was one vicious cycle.
@thepunningman: [hamster construction site] "Colin, you seen Dave?" I left him manning the concrete mixer "Oh no" [cut to Dave having the time of his life]
@EndhooS: [Calls boss] I'm gonna be late... "How late?" *Cut to me trapped inside a tiny house made from Lego* I've no idea to be honest with you...