@the_paramedicK: What idiot named her Miley Cyrus' grandma and not Nana Montana.
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@EliTerry: another car tip: once a month, open the hood and rip out one thing. most of the engine is decorative and weighs down your car
@jakob_huber: "Still upset about earlier?" Yeah "So you knocked over a few spaghetti boxes at the store. No big deal" I WAS A WORLD JENGA CHAMPION, SALLY
@WetzelGeek: I knew this neighborhood was classy enough for me when I saw there is a "Pregnant Only" parking spot in front of the Liquor store.
@BoucheDag2k: Guy getting on elevator in my office building.." Going Down?" Me: "No, but I've got time for a hug"