@crylenol: What idiot named him Spider-Man instead of Peter Parkour?
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@Jade_VK: "I can't believe we're selling this house. So many memories. Man, if walls could talk..." WALL: "I saw you vacuum up your kid's hamster."
@LoveNLunchmeat: Guinea pigs aren't real pets. You buy them when your kids are begging for a dog, but you want to make them sad instead.
@omgthatspunny: My girlfriend always gets her way by pretending she's sad. She's an expert in sighcology.