@RatCasket: what idiot named it Mail Order Bride instead of Male Order Bride?
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@Kyle_Lippert: The masseuse asked if I wanted her to finish me, I said yes & then she ripped my spine out & said "Flawless Victory!"
@UNTRESOR: Avoid unwanted pregnancies by using the "pull out" method where you pull out an acoustic guitar at a party & no one will have sex with you.
@Bill_Nye_Tho__: elephants sleep standing up you could be chillin with an elephant and at any moment they could just be like "lmao for sure, g'night"