@michaeljhudson: What idiot named it the English Channel instead of the BB Sea
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@JohnLyonTweets: I hate it when I try to impress a date by taking her to a nice restaurant and she orders something that isn't on my coupon.
@internetluke: [shows jury picture of gruesome murder scene] *they all gasp* That was my initial reaction too. Those shoes with those pants?
@panmidwest: [Father's Day] ME: I got you this meat thermometer. Hopefully it works well... DAD: Hopefully it works medium and rare too!