@michaeljhudson: What idiot named it the English Channel instead of the BB Sea
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@dafloydsta: [getting a checkup] DOCTOR: On average, how much alcohol do you drink in a day? ME: *sweating* NO ONE SAID THERE WOULD BE ANY MATH
@NikatNiteNite: Hubs and I have fought so much lately I've lost 10 lbs. I thought about leaving him, but I'd like to lose another 10 lbs first.
@Paxochka: People who say "life doesn't come with a set of instructions" obviously haven't heard of the Kama Sutra.