@michaeljhudson: What idiot named it the English Channel instead of the BB Sea
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@trevso_electric: "Everyone give us money in case something happens and when something happens we'll call you a liar." -insurance
@KateQFunny: Just got off 30 min phone call w a friend who has twin 2 yr olds, & even tho i havent had sex in a week I'm taking a morning after pill NOW.
@SingleVicky: I was really pissed at my boyfriend for not calling me all day. Then I remembered he's imaginary. So I'm good.