@michaeljhudson: What idiot named it the English Channel instead of the BB Sea
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@Papa_Mex: But baby, if you didn't want me climbing in your window, why'd you leave the ladder in the garage behind the workbench chained to the beam?
@AGreaterMonster: Dear Applicant, Your résumé appears to be a string of stolen tweets. Congratulations, you're our new VP of Marketing!
@Sarcasticsapien: Coworker: If you had to do it all over again, would you? Me: Yeah. Cw: You would? Why? Me: Because I know what the words "had to" means.
@mojo_bones_: Condescending: (adj) showing patronizing superiority (verb) a convict shimmying down a prison wall with a rope made of bed sheets.