@jonnysun: what idot labeled all the orange juice labels w/ "no pulp" insted of "pulp fiction"
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@OhNoSheTwitnt: Gonna teach a bunch of old white guys the word "bae" so teens stop thinking it's cool and it goes away forever.
@djdarrellripley: Him: This is an awful Thanksgiving meal... The turkey is touching the green beans! Me: It's not what you think, they're just friends.
@AristotlesNZ: Him: "What kinda chameleon do you have?" Me: Karma "Karma?" Karma "Karma.." Karma chameleon "How long you had him?" He comes & goes..
@KevinFarzad: I carry a rolled up yoga mat so people think I'm fit but really it's just a great way to hold 2 footlong meatball subs.