@yassinovic89: What if Aliens don't want to visit us because they're all women and they want us to make the first move.
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@est1975blog: I never knew my son was 80 years old until he told me to text our neighbor because "his leaves are getting on our lawn."
@tdwyer618: "Dad, why did Jesus have to die on the cross?" "He didn't do his 1st grade homework."
@deardilettante: Walking around cemeteries looking at headstones is a great way to come up with baby names.