@bacon_gillepic: What if archeologists just matched the wrong bones and the t-Rex actually had super long arms
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@pattioshankable: Think having your kid hear you having sex is the worst? NOPE! Having your kid run into the room with a light saber to save you...MUCH WORSE!
@AndyAsAdjective: Once dated a girl name Lolly just so I could introduce her to my dad & say "This is Lolly, Pop." Broke up with her like 5 minutes later.
@ComedicBust: Fellas, don't waste your time. Memorizing the lyrics to Gangnam Style hasn't gotten me laid once.
@slyoung5: Good news: He told me I was his penguin. Bad news: Penguins only have sex once a year.