@markleggett: What if birds have tiny human-like ears underneath their feathers? That's certainly something to think about, but not during sex.
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@POTerritory: Cop: What is your line of business? Me [mumbling]: Treason stuff. Cop: Louder for the microphone. Me: Trees 'n' stuff. Gardening.
@StarWarsProblms: Obi-wan: You look different. Vader: You left me burning alive in lava with no arms and legs. Obi-wan: I thought maybe you got a haircut.
@pstamato: "What if something fell off your glass every time you picked it up? That'd be great." - The inventor of coasters
@squirrel74wkgn: No one talks to you on the bus when you're shaking a box of Milk Duds that your head phones are plugged into.