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@BrogaPants: what if "chicken patty" is just short for "chicken patricia"
@caliluvgirl77: I can't have a boyfriend because my clean laundry goes on the other side of my bed.
@iAmJuddy: You say illegal, I say added to my bucket list.
@TheToddWilliams: Benedict Cumberpatch's full name is Benedictionary Cucumbercabbagepatch.
@Mr_Kapowski: [helping my kid with contractions]
Her: Would have
M: Nice. I'll
H: I will
M: Good. Won't
H: Won not
@JediGigi: Him: How'd you get so cute?
Me: I-I-my gosh, I really don't know. I'm not very good at biology.