@Malocallidus: What if Daft Punk is just a couple of rad old ladies who met in knitting club and shared a love of sick beats?
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@Douchekevin: I saw 300 lbs crammed into a pair of small yoga pants so now I understand how the Tardis on Dr. Who is real.
@JVarsityCaptain: Ladies, wonder if he's busy or ignoring your texts? Offer to send nudes. If he instantly responds, he was totally ignoring you before.
@beefman138: I will never refer to 'drunk me' or 'sober me' because that implies the second one exists.
@GrantTanaka: Best thing about drinking in downtown LA is that if u need a bathroom, it's all around you