@TheWeirdWorld: What if dogs are way smarter than we think and they just play dumb so they don’t have to work and pay taxes.
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@TitansHomer: Wait. Those Nigerian girls are still missing?? What about that really cool hashtag we made? They didn't free them when they saw it??
@oxygenplug: "yes I'm very good in bed" *folds blanket and neatly props up pillow* *pillow falls over* "Oh no, this doesn't normally happen I swear"
@leshnevsky: - How can you always be such a happy person? - I never argue with people. - That's impossible! - You're right! That's impossible.