@goldengateblond: what if everything’s a hellscape because Adele got happy and needed material
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@PhuckinCody: [first date] me: what's ur favorite word? her: probably "ethereal," it means- me: mine is "shuttlecock."
@sarcasticmommy4: Sometimes passing by a nursing home is the only reminder I need to go buy my kids whatever they want.
@FreshClemonade: Me: "Bond." *lowers sunglasses* "James Bond." Cashier: "You've been doing that for 35 minutes. Are you going to buy the sunglasses or not?"