@XplodingUnicorn: If you still have a landline, I assume you also own a butter churn and ride a dinosaur to work.

@SpencerLenox: I offered Kinkos $5 for this... they said no.

@Wakenbake77: Nice beard bro looks like you just ate a bunch of lollipops then made out with your cat

@slimmy_shady: The only upside to Trump's big wall is that Texas will finally get some of Banksy's Art. Maybe like a little girl and a soldier with a gun

@lucyworld1: If you weren't supposed to eat 15 Oreos in one sitting, they wouldn't package them in rows of 15.