@HeyZeus666: What if God IS a woman. Not only will I be going to Hell, but I'll never hear the end of it.
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@fro_vo: [romantic walk] Me: *turns to date* darling Her: *gasps* Me: *gets down on one knee* will you Her: omg Me: protest racial inequality with me
@hippieswordfish: CAVEMAN 1: i make this. it called fire CAVEMAN 2: how u do that?! CAVEMAN 1: um *thinking about how he was making 2 sticks have sex* magic
@better_off_dad: Me: Bless me Father for I have sinned. Priest: How long since your last confession, my son? Me: About 45 minutes.
@darkmatter_wimp: Sure, I can teach you about fractions, kid. Just remember this: There is a very fine line between the numerator and the denominator.