@BuckyIsotope: What if Harambe was shot by a time traveler trying to prevent Planet of the Apes
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@juliussharpe: I wish Bond movies gave a more realistic view of his jet lag and traveler's diarrhea.
@Reverend_Scott: WIFE: Please stop. ME: Stop what? WIFE: Singing in the shower. ME: What's the big deal? WIFE: You're scaring everyone at Home Depot.
@murrman5: [walking around still disappointed 6 hours after visiting an aquarium] wife: what did you think a tiger shark was, brent