@shashaintl: What if I never *dramatic pause* sleep *dramatic pause* a- *falls asleep during third dramatic pause*
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@jennfer46: A policeman just knocked on my door and said my dogs were chasing people on bikes... My dogs don't even own bikes..
@ArfMeasures: [in space] ASTRONAUT: Up here you can have delusions ME: Haha I don't think so A: They can seem real GANDALF: Don't believe him ME: I don't
@IamEnidColeslaw: if we know your religion, stance on gun control & how many kids you have just by looking at your car, you have way too many bumper stickers