@shashaintl: What if I never *dramatic pause* sleep *dramatic pause* a- *falls asleep during third dramatic pause*
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@bridger_w: In movies, do actors wear costume underwear? Or underwear from home? The whole thing is confusing. I don't think I can keep watching movies
@freypalm: [comedy club] Worm: And what’s the deal with dandelion stems? Right? Right?! Other worms: *silence* Early bird: *cracking up*
@jackiembouvier: I've been up for 20 hours. There's no way I could perform surgery right now. Mainly, because I have no medical training.
@iGreenMonk: I really can't believe the price some women pay for sunglasses. I'm starting to think it'd be cheaper to get the kitchen window tinted.