@shashaintl: What if I never *dramatic pause* sleep *dramatic pause* a- *falls asleep during third dramatic pause*
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@poizngrl: The difference between kids waking you up and an alarm clock, is that you can throw the alarm across the room
@JoParkerBear: [USPS] M: *hands change of address form* C: Ma'am, this just says "bathtub." M: I live there now. C: We can't send mail to a bathtub. M: Yay
@tylerschmall: England's gonna have a rude awakening when they go to war and all their knights are actors and musicians.
@LetMeStart: Two little monkeys Jumping on the bed One fell off and Bumped his head EXACTLY HOW THEIR MOM SAID SOMEONE WOULD BUT NO ONE LISTENS TO HER.