@LizHackett: "What if I took the dumbest person I know, got them severely drunk, and challenged them to finish my sentences?" -- inventor of Autocorrect
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@marcia_bee: Imagine me in bed. Wrong. Wetter. Wrong again. Wetter. Wrong AGAIN! Soaking wet. This leaky roof is gonna cost me a fortune to fix!
@AngelaEhh: Bartender: What can I get you? Me: Sex, beards, rock & roll? Bartender: Me: Sparkling vampire crazy about me? Bartender: Me: Beer.
@nyax6: Abraham: look here son, i got windows 98! Isaac: but dad, we don't have enough memory? Abraham:Have faith, God will provide the RAM.