@famouscrab: what if in airbud they put the dog in and they didnt win that coach would feel stupid
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@hammbone84: Turns out that my wife isn't very fond of me referring to her period tracker app as the Countdown to Armageddon.
@internetluke: [two female cops come to arrest me but I am hiding in the men's bathroom] Haha "What do we do?"
@SalmaElWardany1: Watching Grey's Anatomy teaches me that if I'm really sad, I should walk slowly down a corridor to a Snow Patrol track.
@ArfMeasures: [Date's house] ME: I'd love to see u again DATE: That would be nice ME [whispers to her dog] ok what do I do she thinks I'm talking to her