@IntrepidDeviant: What if Jesus actually walked on Walter and that whole water thing was a typo that no one corrected coz there was no Twitter?
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@deegeemindi: If someone got my name tattooed on them I'd break up with them to prove it was a bad idea.
@courtneyno: The light above my desk is going out. I feel like I've been at a really boring rave for the last 7 hours.
@hippieswordfish: kid doctor: [looking over charts] im not going to lie this is the worst case of cooties ive ever seen little girl: he said he'd been tested!
@XplodingUnicorn: Me: You're not like other girls. 3-year-old: *continues looking for the right Barbie to fight her dinosaurs*