@Cpt_Burnout: What if the stickers are the only thing Made In China?
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@Dutch_50: I'll bet even homeless people look at funeral homes and think, "Nope. I'd rather stay out here."
@Sickayduh: Her: *flipping pages* Ya know, everything doesn't have to be about you Me: but that's my autobiography
@WritePlay: AMAZON: Did you buy a watch?! ME: Yeah, it's- AMAZON: You might want THIS watch! ME: No I already- AMAZON: ONLY WATCHES FOR YOU, FOREVERMORE
@thegreatnanak: I was walking on the beach with my gf until my drugs wore off and I realised that I was dragging around a stolen mannequin.