@plank_sinatra: What if toilet plumbing was really like those tubes at the bank and all the tubes just went to this one guy's house and he's really pissed
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@bourgeoisalien: Just accidentally messaged my husband "love you sexy beats" instead of "sexy beast" and now he thinks he’s some sort of DJ.
@MarfSalvador: me: *smoking a pipe* I remember when all this was fields farmer: wtf have you done?!
@BareChesty: You know your driving really sucks when your GPS says "After 300 yards, stop and let me out"