@suntzufuntzu: "What if Waldo finds me first?" I ask naively. Grandma closes the book; the blood drains from her face. "Don't let that happen," she warns.
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@Georg_Grey: If a man strikes thee on one cheek, turn to him the other. Then, having shown thyself impregnable to cheek attack, beat the crap out of him.
@KeetPotato: me: "£4,000 for a beehive?" salesman: "sir, there are 8,000 bees in there, that's only 50p each" me: [checking my wallet] "give me 3 bees"