@nice_mustard: what if you thought you had met your soul mate but then you saw them put mayonnaise on a hotdog
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@juanadog: Pointed out my kids real dad to them at the car wash today. None of us are sure if I'm kidding.
@yenniwhite: Goals for my kids before I had them: teach them Spanish, only use positive reinforcement, never yell. After: get them to put on pants.
@timdonakowski: Want the secret to success? Want 2x the energy without having to diet? Want to add 20 years to your life? Want less shoulder hair? Me too.
@PinkCamoTO: Trainer: What's the most intense part of your work out? Me: Getting into my sports bra.