@MichaelGoffLA: What if you told a lie to cover up your affair, and the lie was so good that 2000 years later people were still giving each other presents?
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@mynameisntdave: People who carry their dogs around, You know they can walk, right? Theyre real good at it. It's like one of the top known things about dogs
@morganalxander: Hello my name is Morgan and I used to think lingerie was just a fancy way to say laundry
@ch000ch: i've grown my mustache down over my mouth and all the other ventriloquists here are wondering why they never thought of that before