@peachesanscream: What if your dog speaks French and this whole time has been asking you for some beef?
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@JimmerThatisAll: This day in history. 1924. Franz Kafka died after a surrealistically charged life which should have its own adjective. Kafkastic? Kafkable?
@Rollinintheseat: The key to house hunting is knowing that the house is more afraid of you than you are of it.
@trevso_electric: "Everyone give us money in case something happens and when something happens we'll call you a liar." -insurance
@LeeryLeary: The fact that the British call math "maths" scares me, since the only thing more frightening than math is plural math.