@IncrediblyRich: WHAT IS HAPPENING.
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@AbrasiveGhost: What did u do last night? Me: I drowned my swallows in whiskey Don't u mean sorrows? Me [covering tub of dead birds]: is that the saying?
@eric10F: "will you be paying with cash or credit?" "Cash" *start playing "ring of fire" on my kazoo *gets tackled by security*
@WilliamAder: As it turns out, if you're with a group of people, it's "Christmas caroling." If you do it alone it's "creating a public nuisance."
@RobinMcCauley: A woman started choking in the line at Starbucks- it was so scary but thankfully someone opened another register.