@IncrediblyRich: WHAT IS HAPPENING.
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@onelongbender: When my boss is in town, I set out pictures of kids on my desk. They aren't my kids but he'd never fire a Mom of seven, right?
@RxitWounds: Objection your honor! He's badgering the witness lmao *Courtroom erupts in laughter* Badger: Ok seriously I'm a lawyer and deserve respect
@SardonicTart: Him: *hands me glass of clear liquid* Is this glass half full or half empty? Me: Is that water or vodka? Him: Vodka. Me: Empty.
@NicestHippo: Don't worry about choosing between a job you love & one that pays money because you won't be able to find either