@IncrediblyRich: WHAT IS HAPPENING.
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@kumailn: The Devil has his own Bible. He's releasing it slowly in internet comment threads all across the web.
@UncleDuke1969: The only highlight of a brutal moving day: Wife: "That's way too big to fit in the back door." 4 people in unison: "That's what she said!"
@smithsara79: OB-GYN: Ever consider having kids? Me: *remembers the time I heard some man tell a little girl to smile & she told him to die* Just once.
@MountainDouche: My grandma has been lying to me for years. A watched pot really does boil. Moral of the story, trust no one.