@IronWang: What is love?
You just sang "baby, don't hurt me." In your mind didn't you?
@whatmaddness: I'm trying to explain to my mother how to get pictures off her phone, while we're on the phone, and everything is awful.
@jesse_street: *gets laser eye surgery*
"Thanks doc, so how do I activate them?"
I told you, that's not what—
*i squint at him real hard but he's right*
@SatansTongue: (Selling my soul)
Just sign here and here
"I should have a lawyer read this"
*a million lawyers crawl through hell*
We have plenty of those
@10InchesPlus: Well played, super clean sliding glass door I thought I'd left open. Well played.
@TuffyNyC: Ways To Win My Heart:
1) Be smoking hot
2) Be thin
3) Be a pig
4) Be bacon