@BarbiesUglyCuzn: What is this 'wrong hole' you people speak of?
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@TeaAndCopy: ME: I'll see you in a month WIFE: Don't forget to write ME: It's highly unlikely I'd forget such a basic skill, Sharon
@hardlyrelevant: (interview for construction job) Foreman: Your resume is just pictures of LEGOs? Me: (proudly) Didn't even have to look at the instructions
@KimmyMonte: *phone rings* "Yeh hi who's this? Sure he's here hold on.. Drastic Measures! Call for u." "Who is it?" "Drastic Times" *crowd goes wild*
@Kyle_Lippert: Being popular on Twitter is like sitting at the cool table in the cafeteria at a mental hospital.