@chadchaines: what jerk ever looked at a hamburger and thought "you know what this needs? A nice, soft, warm piece of lettuce."
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@semple42: I really dislike my CW, so everyday I steal a Kleenex from her desk. In about 500 days, she's gonna be pissed.
@BuckyIsotope: *shows up to date with broken nose* "What happened?" Hurt myself playing football "How?" Threw the controller at a wall and it bounced back
@phalguy: 10: What does AF mean? After Flossing. Now go brush your teeth and they will be clean AF. Why do you ask? 10: Mom said you were lazy AF.
@AbbyHasIssues: I missed two of my mom's calls, so I assume the helicopter that just flew over my house is part of the search crew she called.