@chadchaines: what jerk ever looked at a hamburger and thought "you know what this needs? A nice, soft, warm piece of lettuce."
YOU MIGHT ALSO LIKE
@bengulate: My signature move is falling in love with a beautiful girl, then giving her really good advice on how to date someone else.
@Jazzzzzmina: How strict is the "I licked it, it's mine" policy? There's some things I've licked that I don't want.
@WritePlay: "Why don't you cool it on the dressmaking," I suggested to my wife. "You seamstressed."