@JT_IV_: What kind of paperwork do I need to fill out to get a permit to set my children free in the wild?
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@ReaIRonSwanson: 24 astronauts were born in Ohio. What is it about that state that makes people want to flee the planet?
@JohnFugelsang: I can't wait for the next Oscars dead-person montage when all the celebs Joan Rivers insulted have to applaud her.
@iAmJuddy: Favorite question to ask a prospective boyfriend for my sister: Have you ever seen a dead body? *casually lifts shirt to expose .357*