@HitsBelowBelt: What kinda psychopath tries to get in touch with someone by calling them on the phone. What is this...1984?
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@david8hughes: [interrogation] "Where were u on the nite of the 5th?" Stabbing a guy. "Louder for the tape." [leans in] Grabbing a pie. I went out for pie.
@Marlebean: They say a dog park is a great place to meet guys. I don't have a dog, but I walk around with a bag full of poop so I don't look weird.
@Paxochka: I'm not taking the Democrat convention seriously until someone starts talking to a table.
@weinerdog4life: The cops say I have to stop trying to fist fight the guy who tries to feed my house letters everyday.