@Scott_A_Gilmore: What manner of evil contract with the devil must I enter into so I can get eye drops INTO my eyes?
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@disco_bird: All firemen must dread the moment when they're done for the day and have to find the strength to climb back up the pole.
@beisswrandon: If he says "you're 1 in a million" it means he either has no knowledge of the world population or he thinks there are 7000 people like you
@ElgatoEsmio: "Babe I'm ready for bed" "Why so early its the weekend?" [background] "Next up Channel 6 News reveals Ashley Madison's local business men"
@shahrouzt: My dad recently fell for one of those Nigerian prince scam emails. I feel bad for him but I really needed the money.